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The Wisdom of Bapa Malaysia

1st Prime Minister of Malaysia

In my time we had a Cabinet of 13 ministers. Even then they didn’t have enough work. What they do now with 45, I don’t know” – Tunku Abdul Rahman, 1983

“In the old days people never bothered about what others did, so long as they were free to do what they liked themselves. Today, one cannot sneeze without being corrected, let alone enjoy oneself. That’s what politics have done to our society” – Tunku Abdul Rahman , 1975Ahhhh…the good old days.

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February 21, 2011 Posted by | Nation | Leave a comment

We Are Dead

By Nightfish3

Wow! We are going to have a nuclear plant.

If we were still in school, this will be ‘like super cool, man!’. It’s ‘like so futuristic’. And so advance.

But we are no longer in school. And we know the ugly truth about Malaysia. Verdict: We Are Dead!

We are talking about the very realistic Malaysia that you and me know. The Malaysia that cannot even efficiently maintain the mini Tenaga sub-stations at our housing areas. We are talking about the Malaysia who cannot provide clean water to the people even when easy and efficient technology is in use. The Malaysia who cannot even dispose off our garbage in a manner that is not harmful to the environment. The Malaysia who even with computers and technology assistance cannot get trains to arrive and depart on time.

And yet we are going to have a matha-farking nuclear plant!

I hope that the plant is built far away. Maybe Sabah or Sarawak. Sorry folks, I need the South China Sea to act as a barrier.

Hmmm… Maybe they can build it in Sabah near the coal-fired plant. If we are talking about environmental damage and loss of human life, we might as well reduce the area and bring down the headcount. Better that than everyone dying, ain’t it? (I was told that it is human nature to be selfish. I was also told that I can’t beat the government.)

A nuclear plant? What the…?

What the hell to we need a nuclear plant for? We are a kuchi-rat country with 28 million jokers leaving in it. How much efficient energy do we consume? How desperate is our need for such enormous amount of energy? How many energy zapping factories do we have in this country? Dude, this is no Command & Conquer. This is real life death-threatening technology we are talking about. Plus, to be managed by some dumb-wits.

I tell you, this has all got to do with blardie money again. I think someone has gone too far this time. The thing with these guys is they are getting extremely greedy. They are no longer satisfied with reaping money on the smaller scale by the millions and tens of millions per project. Everything nowadays has got to benefit them in terms of hundreds of millions or billions. But to put the life of every Malaysian at risk just to satisfy their lust for money?

Eh come on lah, stop fucking around with people’s lives.

Even that they want to do it on a larger scale. Previously, the Malaysian government is happy killing the people (mostly Indians it would seem) on a small scale of a couple of thousand per year. Nowadays, they are talking about killing the mass population. What’s with this apa nama UMNO? They got possessed by the Satan is it?

Have they gone fucking nuts?Allow me to frighten you a little with some Chernobyl stats. Did you know that the Chernobyl disaster released 400 times more radioactive material than the Hiroshima atomic bombing? Did you know that the contamination of the Chernobyl accident was felt up to more than 1,000 km away?

Let’s put that to perspective. Peninsular Malaysia from the tip of Perlis to the bottom end of Johor is approximately 750 km. Simply put it, wherever this nuclear thing is built in Peninsular Malaysia, you are fried the moment a very likely Malaysian style disaster takes place at the said plant.

You may not die if you are further away. But you will quite likely die of some kind of cancer. That’s if you don’t already decide to kill yourself when your nervous system involuntarily makes you shout out R name every exact 38 seconds. And of course, be assured that your newborn baby will look very adorable with her 3 eyes and a limb sticking out of her chest.

This is so brilliant. By the way, I wage 50 bucks that by the time the plant is in operation, 20,000 folks leaving nearby would have already have taugehs growing from the top of their heads. And another 1,000 may have grown a second dick. Failed tests. Drums of radioactives ‘accidentally’ falling into the nearby river. Accidents of trucks ferrying radioactive materials on their way to the plant. The usual stuffs. But of course you won’t read these in the papers. Shhhhh…

Malaysia is so boleh! Damn I love this country.

Note to Singaporeans: Hey, you guys are pretty nearby I last checked.

May 7, 2010 Posted by | Nation | Leave a comment

lemme tell ya What’s gonna happen

Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Another by-election (that’s by-erection for some people I read about, LOL!!).

Hulu Selangor. Frankly I don’t even know where it is. And I am sure many people, like me, do not know where it is.

But soon, Hulu Selangor will be famous. The place will be featured every day and night on TV3 news, RTM 1 and 2 news, Bernama TV news, NST, Berita Harian, Utusan Malaysia, the Star and whatever mass media there are in this country.

And there will be loads and loads of people who will be going there. I mean not ordinary people like you and me. Big people. Like tawdally beeeg people, man. IPs. VIPs. VVIPs. VVVIPs. And their wife too. Or wives, as the case may be.

The people of Hulu Selangor are one lucky bunch I say. Why not? Christmas, to them, comes early this year. I am not saying that the people of Hulu Selangor are Christians la. Or that they are Muslims who celebrate Christmas. After all this is in Selangor. The place where Muslims are easily confused, according to some Ministers.

No. I am not saying that. It was just a manner of speaking. What I mean is they will get a lot of gifts soon. Yeeay! Horray.

I think soon, all the roads in and to Hulu Selangor will be re-paved. Redone. All the pot holes will suddenly disappear. Out of a sudden, lorries carrying black tar and the tar laying machines would appear. People will come out of them lorries and do up those roads. Where there was no budget for doing so for the past 33 years, suddenly the budget will appear. Yahooooo.

Then billboards will spring up. Satu lagi projek kerajaan BN untuk anda. Hell yeah.

Oh. Bridges. How can we forget bridges. There will be new bridges built. Even at places where there will be nobody crossing the river.

The abandoned school project somewhere in the corner of the kampung will suddenly revive. I do not know for a fact that there is an abandoned school project there, okay. But in each district in this country there will surely be one anyway. And so I am just presuming lah. Yes, suddenly the school project, which has been abandoned for the past 27 years will be revived.

Not only that. Every student in Hulu Langat, tidak kira bangsa, will be given a laptop each. Yes. A finkin new laptop each mind you. Just like in Kuala Terengganu, remember? (I wonder what has happened to the promise to give a computer to each student in Kuala Terengganu now that the BN lost that election).

Oh the surau and masjid. Yes yes. How could I forget that. All suraus and masjids in that area will get new lights. And new speakers and microphones. Plus a mighty 2500 watts pmps amplifier. So that they can blast all ceramahs, Quran recitals, azans and whatever and make the people more pious.

It’s the hot season now. So they will get air-conditioners too.

Oh, the old folks. And needy ones. Yes yes. There will be bags of beras nasional for them. There will be big and noisy ceremonies where old folks and needy people will be made to endure big yawns over some speeches. Then they will be lining up to receive these bags of rice, some telurs, tepung and ikan masin, courtesy of BERNAS.

And perhaps a free ticket to Akademi Fantasia final. Plus Celcom’s gift of free SMS for the people to vote for their favourite Akademi Fantasia contestant. Yeay!

Then someone will launch a minggu cinta Hulu Selangor. And Hulu Selangor will be declared Malaysia’s Centre of Eco-whatever. Hulu Selangor will get a 4 billion dollar injection every 6 months from now on. But only if the BN wins. Yes.

Meanwhile, back in Putrajaya and Bukit Aman, warnings will be issued. Nobody will be allowed to mention the “A” word. And please, no “A” mask too. Apart from “A”, I think this time other alphabets are going to be banned too. Like “PKFZ”. And yes. Lim Kit Siang and Tian Chua et al, please, this is Selangor, no Allah word please. Muslims here could be confused and regard you as Muslims, nanti susah!

Ah yes. The police will ban DAP and PAS from flying their flags or posters in the event PKR runs. Only PKR flags and posters are allowed. Get it?

And PKR ceramahs must be held in a small area. The speakers must not be louder than 91dB per metre watt. Yes yes. On certain nights, the police will raid the ceramahs and prevent the speakers from speaking. Because it has no permit. If it has permit, somehow or other, there will be 800 FRUs surrounding the people who attend the ceramah. To protect them la.

Two weeks before election day, there will be beautiful white camps sprouting all over town. These are like big camps. They will even be air-conditioned. Yes. These will be occupied by policemen. All 6000 of them, in all probability. These policemen are there to ensure public safety and a smooth operation, the Home Minister will say.

They will set up road blocks. The whole town will be jammed up. The place will be so safe even an aedes mosquito would not venture out of the longkangs it sleeps in.

Hmmm..what else arr? Oh ya ya. Perkosa. Eh Perkasa. How can I forget them. Ibrahim Ali and his Pergasak fellows will come in drove. They will bring with them a huge Keris Cendana Wan Kembang Belakang each time they go there. Sometime, they will be coming with DrM. DrM will be wearing a small tengkolok ala Hang Tuah.

There will be silat gayung show preceding their speeches. Then the verbal syphilis will take place. Melayu must this and Melayu must that. Melayu owns this and Melayu owns that. Then they will all kiss the Wan Kembang Belakang keris. Then they will distribute some money to the poor in ang-pow packets courtesy of Magnum 4 nombor ekor. Awesome stuff.

After that they will all go to the police station to lodge 45 police reports against whoever. Then they will post for photographs holding a copy of the police reports. Just to prove that they have lodged a police report. Hilarity personified.

After that some of them will go back to KL in Cayenne Turbo. Irony defined.

Erm…apa lagi ek?

Dah abis modal. Korang tambah-tambah lah.

March 30, 2010 Posted by | Nation | Leave a comment

Funnies…..

Now, I am not trying to influence your rankings of today’s funnies but when I read this next story I almost fell off my chair laughing. Selangor Religious Department (JAIS) is planning to summons the employees of the convenience store in Shah Alam which is in the middle of the Shah Alam beer controversy. Two Muslim employees of the convenience store were served notices for handling alcohol beverages during a raid by Selangor Religious Department (JAIS). The manager of the store, located in Section 25, would also be called to JAIS to explain why Muslim employees were handling alcoholic beverages. Under the Syariah Criminal Offences (State of Selangor) Enactment 1995 Muslims who were caught selling or offering alcoholic drinks can be fined up to RM5,000, or three years jail or both.

When I first read that I had the usual reaction of a alcohol-consuming infidel and thought “Hiyah! If they enforce the law then thousands of people will be out of work and hotels and restaurants and bars in the whole of Selangor will close shop.” Then I re-read the statement and realised that it says, “……Muslims who were caught selling or offering alcoholic drinks……” So if you look at things properly none of those flers in that Shah Alam convenience store or any of the hotels, bars and restaurants are actually committing any crime. They are not selling because the business does not belong to them. They are only serving. They don’t offer because they only serve when the customer requests for it. So, like some other flers in Perak said some months ago, if someone asks or offers it would be terribly rude not to acquiesce. No?

I don’t know about you la. But I am laughing so hard today and it feels damn good la.

August 13, 2009 Posted by | Nation | Leave a comment

It’s a great day!!!!!

Today is a great day in the history of Malaysia! Okay, maybe I exaggerate a little bit but it is still a wonderful day. Woo hoo!!! I haven’t felt this good as a Malaysian for quite a long time. And the reason/s for my elation? Only very simple things la.

Today, I read that Malaysia has canceled the Internet filter plan that Rais Yatim announced a few days ago and which flipped-flopped between “Yes we are” from Rais and “No we ain’t” from Najib to the point of global embarrassment. But at the time I write this, nobody from the government or Rais himself has made any comment. Rais must be sulking at home. Ha!

The second reason, not that I need two, for my jubilation today is the story of the reporter from the ultra-right wing Utusan Malaysia that’s recently been in the spotlight for its several racist and near-seditious articles. This reporter, Mohd. Nizam admitted in the High Court witness stand that he thought “ultra vires” meant “to insult”. Basically, he doesn’t really know nor understand what he is writing about la. The fler was reporting on the Karpal Singh sedition trial where the old man was, among other things, being accused of making seditious statements related to the entire Perak constitutional crisis. “Ultra Vires” actually means “beyond the powers” and in the Karpal Singh case the mistaken meaning as reported in a major mainstream newspaper could have been damaging in many ways.

And so it has been proven beyond a reasonable doubt that Utusan Malaysia is not to be taken seriously. If any intelligent, loyal Malaysian needed any further proof of that la. So, my brethren, the next time they call you a coward and want to defend your rights or whatever, they might not actually know what they are talking about. So……

I think today calls for a celebration. I might even drive all the way to visit my non-Muslim friend in Shah Alam and have some beers..

August 13, 2009 Posted by | Nation | Leave a comment

Fantastic Facts And Fancies

beer
Hey kawan, brudder, fellow-Malaysian, Cheers!!! Ha? ……. Oh……..sorry ah…………… you sensitive issit?

Today’s fantastic fact comes in the form of a nonsensical utterance from the very successful dentist, Khir Toyo. Not wanting to miss out he’s also jumped on board the brewing Hassan Ali/Ronnie Liu controversy.

“I am not suggesting that the sale of alcohol be banned everywhere. Alcohol can be sold, just not in areas where there is a Muslim majority,” he said.
Apparently, Selangor PAS wants the state government to include beer in its ban on the sale of alcohol in all Muslim-majority areas. And it seems that a state by-law already exists which bans the sale of alcohol in these areas. Did you know that? I didn’t and I was quite shocked to read that, to tell you the truth. A ban on sale of alcohol in Muslim majority areas???!!!

The DAP’s Ronnie Liu who is in the thick of the controversy said only 24-hour convenience outlets in Sections 1 to 24 in Shah Alam, which are Muslim majority areas, would be asked to stop the sale of beer to “respect the community.” “The matter has to be considered carefully to take into account the sensitivities of all races,” he said.
There’s those standard cock talk phrases pulled out again. Respect the community. Sensitivities of all races. Proves once and for all that politicians respect no one and they are much more sensitive than any one of us tax-paying rakyat will ever get to be.

Okay, let’s get back to what our rich dentist said.

“I am not suggesting that the sale of alcohol be banned everywhere. Alcohol can be sold, just not in areas where there is a Muslim majority.”So where is this going to lead? Soon there will be no pork in Muslim majority areas, no beef in Hindu majority areas. Then the Chinese areas will be the preferred places to live because there will be everything.

After more than 50 years of being an independent nation we have come to this?

WAT THE FCUK!!

August 7, 2009 Posted by | Nation | Leave a comment

I Cannot Remain Neutral About Issues Of Morality

rip_teobenghock
As a Malaysian, I cannot keep to my seat, or shut my mouth and stay neutral over issues of morality.
So I emerge today from my several months of silence and non-involvement to say that what transpired yesterday is immoral, unacceptable and unconscionable.

Why was a witness being held for questioning for ten hours and only released at 3.45am? What kind of case is it and what is the urgency of the case in question that the witness had to be deprived of sleep and forcibly kept awake till 3.45am? Was the nation deemed to be in grave danger had the witness in question been sent home at a respectable time and asked to report again for questioning the next morning?

The nation could endure long years of waiting over so many other much longer pending cases involving so much more public money and have much greater weight in public interest but this particular case could not wait for the next morning when the witness in question would have been fresher and better rested?

What kind of interrogation was he subjected to on the fateful night without end? Why was it that a witness had to be isolated from his lawyer and forced to be in the sole company of officers with no other neutral person/s present? Because he was in the sole company of officers who were interrogating him, how would his side of the story be ever told? And how would, why should the officers in question be trusted when they tell the nation what actually transpired during that fateful night the witness lost his life?

There were no other witness/es present so how would these officers in question clear their own involvement or clear their own names in this sad story?

Isn’t it true that a medical doctor should carry out the examination of a patient of the opposite sex in the presence of at least one other person? This is a wise procedure so that should any allegation of wrongful conduct be raised against him or her, the doctor would have some neutral testimony to defend him or her.

There have been too many instances of contravention against natural justice in this country involving the agencies and instruments of state. There have been too many victims. The neutrality of these instruments of state is questionable.

I CANNOT REMAIN NEUTRAL ABOUT ISSUES OF MORALITY.

This is not about partisan politics. I expect Leaders from both sides of the parliamentary divide to speak up. I expect to hear from all political parties and all who hold public office at all levels to speak up.Of course all of the above persons should state their own views and even fault my manner of speaking or reasoning. But silence is not an option. Leaders do not have the option of keeping their opinion to themselves. They must lend their voices to voices which have been silenced.

A young life has been lost on the very eve of his wedding. Siblings, parents, colleagues and a fiancee are in inconsolable grief. WHY SO? WHO WILL BE NEXT?

July 21, 2009 Posted by | Nation | Leave a comment

Malaysians: What is your turning point with Teoh Beng Hock’s death?

Yesterday we experienced another dastardly event with the death of Teoh Beng Hock. Another Malaysian, haven’t we had enough action with deaths in police custody, and now we face a death in civil custody.

No, it is not the fault of the government operated organs, it is always the fault of the victim. Sure it is the operation of our present government and we think that we are such free thinkers that we will always afford the benefit of doubt for the corrupted tools of the government. The Malaysian government is a bunch of neo Nazis’ who have no humanity in them as long as it serves their own purpose. Wake up Malaysians! Our hearts boil with anger and frustration yet we continue to accept their nonsense for the material needs, yet we forsake the humanity that we have in each other. Do not let it be another bedtime story that will be long forgotten.

I alone cannot persecute these bastards who do not have even an aorta of feeling for a fellow human being but we can do it collectively and show that we as the Malaysian public are united to act and challenge them in any way that another Malaysian would not face such predicament as our fellow Malaysian had faced.

What the hell the government thinks of itself? If they think that they can continue their antics as and when it pleases, fuck them and fuck everyone else who installs fear in us for a material reason or need. We Malaysians need to be bold and ready to act to challenge what is unjust and unfair that transpires right before our eyes. Yes, the system is there, the rule of law is there but if it is continuously used to suppress the public and victimize people like Teoh Beng Hock, then to hell with the system and rule of law.

Listen you Malaysians, stop talking and get down to action if we are to preserve any humanity for us as this government is riding on the complacency and the “tidak apa” attitude that we grew up with for the benefit that is only for yourself per se as oppose to the community that we hope to live in.

I am so angry with the death of Teoh Beng Hock that I could kill the perpetrator. Sure don’t come and tell me to let the system prevail and let’s see what happens with investigation and so forth, be level headed, let’s rationalize this or you are too emotional. This is all bullshit! You need to be emotional and seek what is just and fair, not just putting up with it as it does not rock your boat. All your life you try to live a rationalized life yet you can only live if you are happy with the community that you live in. You either act for humanity for what is just and fair or take the highway as nothing matters as long your interest is taken care of or your two cent opinion without an action for your own escapism.

Humanity is plentiful in Malaysia, but it can only move ahead if we, the people act to make known that our act matters for the betterment of the society. It is in our hand if we can act collectively for a just cause, so let’s join hand and ensure the death of Teoh Beng Hock will make us realize that without our action to avenge his death, it is meaningless for humanity to survive in Malaysia rather than turning this into another “Kedai Mamak Story”.

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July 17, 2009 Posted by | Nation | Leave a comment

Fantastic Facts and Fancies

fish_pipe
Fruit- sellers and construction workers most welcome. Selamat Datang.

Ghanian is here to stay – Durian seller finds his second home in Terengganu …… The Star

The story is about Ibrahim Moro, a Ghanaian who ‘migrated’ (I thought only birds and animals migrate and people emigrate) to Malaysia in the 1990’s. It also says that in 1994 Ibrahim decided to settle in Terengganu and married a kampung girl and they now have 5 children. Ibrahim is his own “boss” as he sells durians for a living and makes up to RM300 a day from his durian stall. Very heart-warming story isn’t it.

Ok, now if you are:-

A Malaysian married to a foreign spouse who can’t get a permanent resident visa even after being in the country for 15 or more years

OR

A foreigner married to a Malaysian and can contribute to the pembangunan (development) of Malaysia because you are a doctor/teacher/engineer/architect/nurse/manager but yet cannot work because you are not even a Permanent Resident after 20 years of living here with your Malaysian family

OR

A foreigner who has been doing business here and paying taxes for 22 years and are in love with the country and want to stay but can’t because all your applications for permanent residence have been rejected for no good reasons

………….what and how would you feel after reading the above story? Come on now, be honest.

Wat the Heck!!!!

July 15, 2009 Posted by | Nation | Leave a comment

Fantastic Facts and Fancies

celcom

It could be just my deteriorating eyesight or it could be really true that I saw an ad in the newspapers yesterday by a telco advertising its wonderful new mobile broadband package. Full-page. Full-colour ad. And what caught my eye was the price of one of the packages. RM89.00 for a package with a speed of “up to” 384 kbps!!!!!!!! That’s 384 thousand bits per second!!! Wow!!!

But wait ah. Isn’t that a bit slow? And the promise is “up to” only you know. And I am sure, thanks to Streamyx we are all too familiar with ‘promises’ like these.
Recently I heard them boasting that in 2010 they are going to have a broadband speed of 1 gbps. I may be a computer idiot but I think one gigabit/byte whatever per second is infinitely faster right? So why are we still making like 384 kbps is a big deal?

July 8, 2009 Posted by | Nation | Leave a comment