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Funnies…..

Now, I am not trying to influence your rankings of today’s funnies but when I read this next story I almost fell off my chair laughing. Selangor Religious Department (JAIS) is planning to summons the employees of the convenience store in Shah Alam which is in the middle of the Shah Alam beer controversy. Two Muslim employees of the convenience store were served notices for handling alcohol beverages during a raid by Selangor Religious Department (JAIS). The manager of the store, located in Section 25, would also be called to JAIS to explain why Muslim employees were handling alcoholic beverages. Under the Syariah Criminal Offences (State of Selangor) Enactment 1995 Muslims who were caught selling or offering alcoholic drinks can be fined up to RM5,000, or three years jail or both.

When I first read that I had the usual reaction of a alcohol-consuming infidel and thought “Hiyah! If they enforce the law then thousands of people will be out of work and hotels and restaurants and bars in the whole of Selangor will close shop.” Then I re-read the statement and realised that it says, “……Muslims who were caught selling or offering alcoholic drinks……” So if you look at things properly none of those flers in that Shah Alam convenience store or any of the hotels, bars and restaurants are actually committing any crime. They are not selling because the business does not belong to them. They are only serving. They don’t offer because they only serve when the customer requests for it. So, like some other flers in Perak said some months ago, if someone asks or offers it would be terribly rude not to acquiesce. No?

I don’t know about you la. But I am laughing so hard today and it feels damn good la.

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August 13, 2009 Posted by | Nation | Leave a comment

It’s a great day!!!!!

Today is a great day in the history of Malaysia! Okay, maybe I exaggerate a little bit but it is still a wonderful day. Woo hoo!!! I haven’t felt this good as a Malaysian for quite a long time. And the reason/s for my elation? Only very simple things la.

Today, I read that Malaysia has canceled the Internet filter plan that Rais Yatim announced a few days ago and which flipped-flopped between “Yes we are” from Rais and “No we ain’t” from Najib to the point of global embarrassment. But at the time I write this, nobody from the government or Rais himself has made any comment. Rais must be sulking at home. Ha!

The second reason, not that I need two, for my jubilation today is the story of the reporter from the ultra-right wing Utusan Malaysia that’s recently been in the spotlight for its several racist and near-seditious articles. This reporter, Mohd. Nizam admitted in the High Court witness stand that he thought “ultra vires” meant “to insult”. Basically, he doesn’t really know nor understand what he is writing about la. The fler was reporting on the Karpal Singh sedition trial where the old man was, among other things, being accused of making seditious statements related to the entire Perak constitutional crisis. “Ultra Vires” actually means “beyond the powers” and in the Karpal Singh case the mistaken meaning as reported in a major mainstream newspaper could have been damaging in many ways.

And so it has been proven beyond a reasonable doubt that Utusan Malaysia is not to be taken seriously. If any intelligent, loyal Malaysian needed any further proof of that la. So, my brethren, the next time they call you a coward and want to defend your rights or whatever, they might not actually know what they are talking about. So……

I think today calls for a celebration. I might even drive all the way to visit my non-Muslim friend in Shah Alam and have some beers..

August 13, 2009 Posted by | Nation | Leave a comment

Fantastic Facts And Fancies

beer
Hey kawan, brudder, fellow-Malaysian, Cheers!!! Ha? ……. Oh……..sorry ah…………… you sensitive issit?

Today’s fantastic fact comes in the form of a nonsensical utterance from the very successful dentist, Khir Toyo. Not wanting to miss out he’s also jumped on board the brewing Hassan Ali/Ronnie Liu controversy.

“I am not suggesting that the sale of alcohol be banned everywhere. Alcohol can be sold, just not in areas where there is a Muslim majority,” he said.
Apparently, Selangor PAS wants the state government to include beer in its ban on the sale of alcohol in all Muslim-majority areas. And it seems that a state by-law already exists which bans the sale of alcohol in these areas. Did you know that? I didn’t and I was quite shocked to read that, to tell you the truth. A ban on sale of alcohol in Muslim majority areas???!!!

The DAP’s Ronnie Liu who is in the thick of the controversy said only 24-hour convenience outlets in Sections 1 to 24 in Shah Alam, which are Muslim majority areas, would be asked to stop the sale of beer to “respect the community.” “The matter has to be considered carefully to take into account the sensitivities of all races,” he said.
There’s those standard cock talk phrases pulled out again. Respect the community. Sensitivities of all races. Proves once and for all that politicians respect no one and they are much more sensitive than any one of us tax-paying rakyat will ever get to be.

Okay, let’s get back to what our rich dentist said.

“I am not suggesting that the sale of alcohol be banned everywhere. Alcohol can be sold, just not in areas where there is a Muslim majority.”So where is this going to lead? Soon there will be no pork in Muslim majority areas, no beef in Hindu majority areas. Then the Chinese areas will be the preferred places to live because there will be everything.

After more than 50 years of being an independent nation we have come to this?

WAT THE FCUK!!

August 7, 2009 Posted by | Nation | Leave a comment